Monday, August 1, 2011

Pillow Talk

I bet you thought that this was going to be some kind of sexy post. Don't worry, it isn't! I bought a pillow today and I just wanted to tell you all of the gory details. The details are gory because I was watching Freddy vs. Jason for a full 50 minutes before I realized that I was at a movie theater that only showed movies that were released in 2003 and not at Bed, Bath, and Beyond.

You gave your life to me. I sort of appreciate it, kind of.
So, this pillow is pretty good stuff. Like the stuffing is made of feathers. I asked the woman in the Bed, Bath, and Beyond what kind of feathers were in the pillow. She just asked me to please get off of the floor and if I wanted to try pillows, to please go to the bedding area. I guess she didn't want to admit that she didn't know. What an idiot.

Jorge believes that the feathers are made from a pigeon. He sniffed the pillow for about 2 hours and rubbed his head on it for about 20 minutes after that and then stopped because he said he felt dizzy and then he continued for about 10 minutes after that. He then proclaimed that it was made from “the right side of a dirty pigeon, most likely hatched in South Orange, New Jersey and caught by two young men with hearts full of malice and a lust for blood.” Thanks pigeon for giving your life for my pillow. I will avenge you.

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