Monday, July 11, 2011

Computer Graphics for Extreme Genuises

You should only be reading this if you can spot the spelling mistake. This demonstrates if your intellect is advanced enough to view this post. If you guessed that it was Genuises, you are totally wrong. If you guessed “Computer” you are so right. It's actually spelled “Gateway.” I can tell this because that it is written on the Gateway that I am typing on right now. I apologize for past spelling errors. I was misinformed by the dictionary. And God. 

Gateway, before eating your brains
Now on to the thing for smart people, like me. So, I decided that my blog needed to look better. It is a little plain. In order to do so (note the intelligent language. Who needs college now, Supreme Court?), I painted the Gateway screen with some palm trees. But then I was kicked out of the public library and I couldn't see how beautiful it looked when it dried. It used oil paints and, as us smart-asses know, they take several days to set properly. 

I told Jorge about this and after he was done sobbing on the phone in Korean, he told me that I needed to use a Gateway language to change the design on my blog called HTML. But he doesn't speak English properly (he still spells “Gateway,” “Computer.” Get with the 20th century, Jorge!). So I discovered a Korean Secret: You need to know the language HTML to make your blog look pretty without oil paints. And paint thinner because you need to use paint thinner with oil paints, Duhs-ville! Unfortunately, I don't know HTML and I can't learn it because it would make me a jerkface to know another language. I will only change the design of my blog when this Gateway learns how to speak some American.

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