Friday, July 22, 2011

I'm Saving America, One Lick at a Time

QR code: If you look closely at it, you may find something actually useful.
There is a disturbing new trend among youngsters and oldsters trying to be youngsters. I'm talking to you, Jennifer Lopez. And yes, I consider 41 to be an oldster. Anyway, this trend surrounds something terrible on the back of my cereal box this morning and it was not a very confusing and difficult maze to find Lucky the Leprechaun.

It was a strange little box thing. Devilish really. It is part of the conspiracy to turn this country into Pagan territory. Strange symbols. I have one piece of evidence that it was definitely pagans. See my Mom was wrong it was not that the Republicans were trying to turn the good ol' U.S.A. into Palin territory, it was definitely Pagan. I have never been wrong before, except for once.

I asked the lovely Bolivian cashier what this horrify symbol was. After rolling his eyes several times, as is customary in Bolivia when dealing with a ram or bull, he told me that it was a QR code. I asked about what this meant to pagans. Then he stared at me with his face pointed down and one eyebrow up, as is customary in Bolivia when handling dangerous fruits. I figured it was best to leave as I am already afraid of fruit as it is.

I call on all of you, if there are any of you, to resist paganism in all forms. When you see one of these terribly dangerous and somehow sexually tempting codes, you must deactivate it. How do you do this you ask me? (Or you would ask me if you were brave enough to leave a comment? Or if anyone was reading this?) Do what I did: Lick it and then watch a few episodes of Night Court. Goodbye Paganism! Hello justice, nighttime style.

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