Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Fancy Cheese: You Pay For the Stink

If only you could smell this cheese, you would vomit.

I went to what I thought was a grocery store. But as I entered the very crowed room (why is everyone wearing backpacks all of the sudden? Just because it cost you $400 doesn't make it cool. Not unless that $400 includes an air conditioner, which would make the backpack very literally cool), I noticed that this grocery store was not a grocery store at all. All it sold was salt and cheese. I feel so bad for Walmart, being run out of business by all of these specialty mom and pop stores. Mom and Pop, thanks for destroying Walmart's profit margins! Assholes.

Instead of leaving the store (that would be letting THEM win!), I decided to shop for my week's groceries there. Yum, salt and cheese for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. It beats what I was eating last week: Taco Bell hot sauce packets and duck liver. As I looked around the store at the sea of combat boots, Toms, and boat shoes, I felt very out of place in my re-purposed shoes. I didn't feel good enough for them. But then I realized that I need to be happy with who I am. So, I stood up tall and made no apologies for my appearance and when my clown shoes slapped people's ankles.

Between slapping people and making babies cry, I found some cheese in that cheese filled store. But it was very expensive, like what I make in a day minus a thousand dollars. I bought the cheese and then $600 worth of salt. But it was worth it. Cheese, salt, and $100 bills make for a delicious breakfast.

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