Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Lumber, Love, and other Government Conspiracies

If only Woody Woodpecker could peck away all of the wood between Jorge and I.
I went to buy some lumber this morning in order to provide some warm on these hot summer days and to create a sense of community in my apartment complex with a bonfire circle of trust and sharing. But unfortunately, as I was leaving, Jorge undermined me yet again, just like he did at the 1998 Nagano Olympics. Let's just say he takes after Tanya Harding; he has some female genitalia. 

Jorge questioned my need for lumber in the middle of July. I told him that if he loved me, he won't have asked me. Also, I informed him that I am on my period, and if television shows and commercials tell me anything, women (note: I am a woman) are extremely unreasonable, hungry, emotional, and downright smelly during their periods and men, who are victimized by terrible, bitchy, period women, are suppose to cower in front of them

Jorge did not appreciate this response in this least bit and told me that I am stupid and lumber is expensive and needs to be saved for important occasions like caribou season or for burning Ke$ha CDs. But he did tell me that I am smelly. So, haha, proved him wrong!

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