My DVR, My Dog Videos

TiVo, don't go.

I recently got a DVR (Dog Video Recorder) for the first time. I don't know why it is called a dog video recorder when it does not record any dog videos. Well, not unless I ask it to. It should just know that I want to watch some cool Schnauzer show. But the great extra feature about the dog video recorder is that it not only records dogs but also other types of shows! If I had known this before, I would have cried with joy but after that dolphin accident, I don't have any tear ducts.

So last night, I recorded (and also taped, just in case!) the show Law and Order: Special Victims Unit. I haven't seen it, but I just felt like I should tell you. It is a milestone in my life that I wanted to share with you, internet. I recorded my first television show on my Dog Recorder. It feels as special as all of the other milestones in my life. I will now list every single milestone in my life. There are 7.

1. Birth, duh
2. My first dog bite (he was delicious!)
3. Catching, Killing, and Preparing with various salts a young Mother Hen
4. Seeing my reflection in a mirror (age 8). This list is going in order.
5. Cage fight
6. First day of school (age 21)
7. Recording my First Television Show

I can't wait to watch it. Unfortunately, I got so excited about my milestone, I wet my myself and then tried to clean myself with the Dog Recorder. I tried to dry it with my hair but it just won't work. Oh well, bye DVR, I loved you like a brother, but in a weird, incestuous way.