Saturday, July 16, 2011

I'm Phat, Dawg!

Protests in Greece boycotting jibberish
Jorge told me that I am completely out of touch with reality. Yeah, I get it. Who are you? My Mom or my Therapist, or my Parole Officer?!? But then he clarified that he meant that my post yesterday was outdated. Rebecca Black is old news, like the debt crisis in Greece or skinny jeans. Or worse; granite counter tops with stainless steel appliances. What is this? 2008?

Today I read a newspaper. Shocking, right? WRONG! I am extremely informed but I get all of my news from the scandal sheets or as the kids call them, tabloids. But all those tell you are about Jennifer Lopez's ass eating a small chinchilla or UFOs making crop circles because they aren't advanced enough to make crop rhombuses. I don't know why the police haven't arrested J Lo's buttocks yet. It is not good for her bum or for the chinchillas. If her butt seeks treatment, it can perhaps be rehabilitated and go on to lead a normal life sitting in chairs and providing comfort during particularly painful poops.

The newspaper today had even more important news to tell. Today, I could get 20% off of All laundry detergent. And it gets even more shocking. I could get Quaker Chewy Bars for only a dollar a box! Crazy right? Also, something about a debt ceiling. I think I need that because if my debt would pile up in my apartment to my ceiling, it would remind to stop spending so much money.

I apologize if my post yesterday was a little bit out of date. I swear that I'm no square! My shirt says Impeach Bush! Me and the Zeitgeist are best friends, clearly.

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